How I Fell in Back in Love with Myself

This is a post I've been trying to write for so long long, but every time I start I end up deleting it because I can't quite find the words to explain what I mean. But since my lats opinion-based post went down so well (Am I Shallow?) I decided I just needed to sit down and get on with it. Today I'm talking how I convinced myself to love my own body.

I used to not be a huge fan of how I looked- in fact, there were times when I hated how I looked, and although I never told many people that and people perhaps wouldn't have realised that on a daily basis, I was genuinely very unhappy with how I looked and it made me feel really down at times. I would compare myself to other people I knew, not realising that no matter how much I did my make-up like them or dyed my hair, I would never look like that pure and simply because we have different faces and bodies. Now, I hardly recognise that girl who looked in the mirror a lot but hated what she saw- my friends always laugh at me because if I get a bit tipsy I exclaim: "Do you ever just look in the mirror and think, wow I'm so gorgeous?". So how did I make such a miraculous change?

I've listened to Marina and the Diamonds since her first album came out back in 2010. Not only do I love her original eletric-poppy sound, but I've always found that her lyrics are so meaningful. In her song 'Oh No' she sings the line 'feel like I'm the worst so I always act like I'm the best'. This is one that always stuck out to me and one I've always remembered. It was probably almost 2 years ago that I started to apply it to my appearance. When I looked in the mirror, I would tell myself that I was beautiful and that I looked great, even if I didn't fully believe it. I put on this front where I made out that I loved myself, and the funny thing is that eventually you start to believe it. It's like 'fake it till you make it'- pretend that you love yourself until you really do.

Now I look in the mirror and I truly believe I'm perfect. I may not look like Marina and the Diamonds or Scarlett Johansson (much as I admire them), this is the face and body I have and I wouldn't change them. While this tactic may not work for everyone, if you're feeling down about yourself just give it a go- you might notice a change in yourself. Of course I still have days where I'm not 100% happy with my appearance, I'm pretty sure everyone feels that way once in a while and I guess it's normal, but I never let this get me down like I used to. After all, the way I look is not the most important thing in the world.

And for those of you who think that I shouldn't love myself or call myself beautiful (and I know there will be some) all I have to say to you is this- I'm truly happy and confident in my appearance. I don't need someone else to tell me I'm beautiful so that I feel validated and your negativity is not going to stop me shouting from the rooftops: "I LOVE MYSELF AND SO SHOULD YOU!"

Olivia Ellen XXX

Am I Shallow?

'Is blogging shallow?' is a question I've asked myself many times over the three years I've been writing this blog. At first I didn't even think about it- it was purely a way for me to get some writing experience outside of school and fashion and beauty was an easy way in as it's something I'm interested in. As I've got more involved in the blogging community as a whole, it's become a question that's often on my mind. Often telling people "I write about fashion and beauty" is met with surprised looks and I can sense that some people who don't really know me assume that I'm shallow or that all I must care about is my appearance.

Of course, blogging does involving spending a lot of time taking or having photos taken of myself, and for beauty blogging in particular, spending a lot of time getting ready to make sure my photos look their best. But does that make me shallow? After much consideration, I've decided the answer is no. Yes, I enjoy looking nice and spending time and money on my appearance but equally it's not all I care about. it's a small detail of my life and I know there are much more important things. Blogging has also given me a huge confidence boost- ladies (and guys too) of all shapes, sizes and appearances all are united by this (on the whole) supportive community. It's not about looking the best in a size 6 dress from Topshop- it's about expressing yourself no matter what you look like. I'm no Emma Watson and I've accepted that, but it's partly thanks to blogging that I have the body confidence I do today. I can wear what I like and look how I want and as long as I'm happy with it, that's all that matters. Sharing it with the world and getting good feedback is purely a bonus. So no, I don't think blogging is shallow and I now take pride in telling people that I write about fashion and beauty. Let people think what they like about it- blogging is a great thing and I won't let anyone take that away from me.


Olivia Ellen XXX

Losing Physical Publications? // My Thoughts

I've always loved reading magazines, even since I was a child. It began with Girl Talk and later magazines such a Bliss (which for the record made me feel so grown-up). I'd been subscribed to Company magazine for almost two years when it announced a few months ago that they would no longer be in print. I was devastated- it had always been a favourite of mine for many reasons (they use recycled paper, regularly feature bloggers and is affordable) so I was surprised to hear that their sales were so low they couldn't afford to keep printing anymore. While they still maintain a pretty strong online presence, I can't seem to get over my feelings about losing physical publications.


I can't deny that I adore the internet- I wouldn't be having so much fun writing this blog without it right? I spend hours (probably too many) checking up on social media everyday and finding an interesting article online is so easy but for me, there's only so many hours a day I can spend staring a screen before I get fed up. I adore holding a glossy magazine in my hand, flicking through it, folding down pages of things I love. I feel the same about books- surely you can't beat the smell of an old (or new) book, marking your page with a funny bookmark or underlining things that make me think. Turning the pages on a screen just isn't the same.


My plan to study journalism at university hasn't been a straightforward as picking the first journalism course I find. I've had to look into courses which use a range of multimedia just in case the market for physical publications deteriorates further. It worries me, which is why I love having a monthly magazine subscription- I don't have to remember to go out and buy a new issue every month (something I would definitely forget to do) but I know I'm helping (however small that help may be) to keep that magazine afloat.


I want your opinions- can you imagine a world without magazines on the supermarket shelves? Get in touch in the comments!


Olivia Ellen XXX