How I Fell in Back in Love with Myself

This is a post I've been trying to write for so long long, but every time I start I end up deleting it because I can't quite find the words to explain what I mean. But since my lats opinion-based post went down so well (Am I Shallow?) I decided I just needed to sit down and get on with it. Today I'm talking how I convinced myself to love my own body.

I used to not be a huge fan of how I looked- in fact, there were times when I hated how I looked, and although I never told many people that and people perhaps wouldn't have realised that on a daily basis, I was genuinely very unhappy with how I looked and it made me feel really down at times. I would compare myself to other people I knew, not realising that no matter how much I did my make-up like them or dyed my hair, I would never look like that pure and simply because we have different faces and bodies. Now, I hardly recognise that girl who looked in the mirror a lot but hated what she saw- my friends always laugh at me because if I get a bit tipsy I exclaim: "Do you ever just look in the mirror and think, wow I'm so gorgeous?". So how did I make such a miraculous change?

I've listened to Marina and the Diamonds since her first album came out back in 2010. Not only do I love her original eletric-poppy sound, but I've always found that her lyrics are so meaningful. In her song 'Oh No' she sings the line 'feel like I'm the worst so I always act like I'm the best'. This is one that always stuck out to me and one I've always remembered. It was probably almost 2 years ago that I started to apply it to my appearance. When I looked in the mirror, I would tell myself that I was beautiful and that I looked great, even if I didn't fully believe it. I put on this front where I made out that I loved myself, and the funny thing is that eventually you start to believe it. It's like 'fake it till you make it'- pretend that you love yourself until you really do.

Now I look in the mirror and I truly believe I'm perfect. I may not look like Marina and the Diamonds or Scarlett Johansson (much as I admire them), this is the face and body I have and I wouldn't change them. While this tactic may not work for everyone, if you're feeling down about yourself just give it a go- you might notice a change in yourself. Of course I still have days where I'm not 100% happy with my appearance, I'm pretty sure everyone feels that way once in a while and I guess it's normal, but I never let this get me down like I used to. After all, the way I look is not the most important thing in the world.

And for those of you who think that I shouldn't love myself or call myself beautiful (and I know there will be some) all I have to say to you is this- I'm truly happy and confident in my appearance. I don't need someone else to tell me I'm beautiful so that I feel validated and your negativity is not going to stop me shouting from the rooftops: "I LOVE MYSELF AND SO SHOULD YOU!"

Olivia Ellen XXX